During the first years of grief, the one thing that I feared the most was forgetting, forgetting the details of everything that happened. Each year meant another year had gone by without my darling girls. Each year meant another year of forgetting more minute details. Each year meant that there would be less value placed on their lives. Each year meant more time separated us.
And now, here it is, 30 years later. It was inevitable that this day would eventually roll around. However, this year was different. That dreadful feeling in my gut like so many other years was gone. It's true that I had finally made peace with the deaths of my daughters, no doubt about that. I also published AnAngelWalksBesideMe which, for an introvert like me, took much courage to bare my soul with such deeply personal stories about my marriage, divorce, mental health, grieving and my desperation to seek out help in some of the most unconventional ways. But, still, that wasn't it, not entirely.
My reaction this year was really about how I was viewing the upcoming anniversary. This year, there was a new way of thinking, choosing instead to look at the legacy that was left behind. I began making plans with a new purpose in mind to celebrate and cherish the memory of my daughters and also the community within a community that, like me, will never forget the impact that Expo 86 made on their lives. Here is my story:
When I looked back to 1986, here in British Columbia the biggest news was Expo 86, hosted by the City of Vancouver. I wasn't going to miss out on this historic event so I planned months in advance to attend. My husband and me, joined by my sister and brother-in-law, headed to the big city. This was my first time ever being at a fair of this magnitude. I was in awe of most everything and stood around with my mouth gaped open taking in the people and festivities at the fair. Everything seemed to be bigger and more fun than anything I had ever experienced before. It was also a first for me to end the day by eating dinner in a revolving restaurant high above the city. I had the time of my life.
Now, this may seem like an odd announcement to make on the 30th anniversary of my daughters’ deaths; however, when I took a look at the long-lasting negative effects Expo 86 has had on a group of vulnerable residents, it is actually very fitting. What happened at Expo 86 is actually really sad.
Unbeknownst to me, while I was having the time of my life, like millions of other tourists, just down the road people were displaced and dying. In total, there were more than 700 evictions and 11 deaths, all of which involved Vancouver's most vulnerable. Many of the issues resulting from these events still plague Vancouver today, 30 years later.
Much like the long-lasting effects my daughters have had on my life some 30 years ago, so too have the effects of what happened at Expo 86 had horrific effects on the residents of Vancouver's Downtown Eastside.
"It may seem insignificant to most people, but the impact Expo had on the Downtown Eastside was devastating,”
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| My Actual Passport |
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| My Intro to Expo 86 |
Expo 86 definitely ended on a high note for me, so much so that it was less than 2 months later when I learned I was pregnant with triplets. Doing the math pretty much confirmed I was carrying my “Expo 86 triplets.”
Now, this may seem like an odd announcement to make on the 30th anniversary of my daughters’ deaths; however, when I took a look at the long-lasting negative effects Expo 86 has had on a group of vulnerable residents, it is actually very fitting. What happened at Expo 86 is actually really sad.
Unbeknownst to me, while I was having the time of my life, like millions of other tourists, just down the road people were displaced and dying. In total, there were more than 700 evictions and 11 deaths, all of which involved Vancouver's most vulnerable. Many of the issues resulting from these events still plague Vancouver today, 30 years later.
Much like the long-lasting effects my daughters have had on my life some 30 years ago, so too have the effects of what happened at Expo 86 had horrific effects on the residents of Vancouver's Downtown Eastside.
"It may seem insignificant to most people, but the impact Expo had on the Downtown Eastside was devastating,”
Source: Megaphone Magazine
"I was very upset about it. I said publicly to the premier that he could have been a hero by doing that. Instead, he was a bum by having these poor souls dislocated and their health hurt quite dramatically," said Harcourt.
(then-Vancouver mayor, Mike Harcourt)
Source: CBC News
There is little doubt that mental health issues are abundant in the Downtown Eastside district of Vancouver. This is, afterall, Canada’s poorest postal code.
As a person who has lived with mental health issues most of my adult life, I don’t know what makes me different from those who have found themselves living their lives in these unfortunate circumstances. But, I do know that no one is immune. It could be anyone. In fact, several years after my daughters died I learned that my birth father, with whom I had lost contact with, had passed away. His last known address was a rooming house with a familiar ring to it. I felt a deep sadness for his fate and hoped that, by the grace of God, I never find myself following in those footsteps, but who knows. I just know that it’s certainly not my plan.
So, with this in mind, and with the 30th Anniversary year of my daughters’ journey, I plan to use my skills to focus on helping the Downtown Eastside community.
My daughters were born at the Grace Hospital in Vancouver, which is where they took their first breaths, and they took their last breaths at BC Children’s Hospital in Vancouver. Today I do not live in Vancouver so I am not able to provide a ‘hands-on’ type of help, but distance is not an excuse to stop anyone from helping another person. I learned that 1st hand in 2003 when my home burned to the ground in a massive forest fire and I benefitted from the generosity of donations to my community from people all over the world.
So, on this, the 30th Anniversary of my daughters’ lives, I am dedicating their memory to the spirit of those who are unable to Speak Up for themselves, much like my daughters.
So, on this, the 30th Anniversary of my daughters’ lives, I am dedicating their memory to the spirit of those who are unable to Speak Up for themselves, much like my daughters.
It gives me so much pleasure to announce that through my voice I will do whatever I can to raise awareness for those who are living in the Vancouver Downtown Eastside. The residents of the DTES are all too often quickly judged and ignored by society. I want to do what I can to help with Mental Health education in an effort to Erase the Stigma. Mental Health, like death, is a difficult subject for people to talk about, even today in 2016. Why is that?
Why are people so afraid to talk about tough subjects, things that make them uneasy? I am here to change that and say too damn bad if it's tough. It's your job to learn how to be not uncomfortable with these topics. I didn't want to face this stuff 30 years ago either, but it landed in my life. I had to deal with it. Just like the people in Vancouver's DTES they did not want to be evicted, but they were forced out of their residences. They did not have a choice. This resulting in some of them dying, who wants to talk about that? All of this became my reality and it became the reality of the residents of the DTES, and for those who were there to aid in helping us. It wasn't pleasant for anyone, needless to say, but it cannot be ignored.
~ Sometimes people with mental health illness die due to mental health issues ~
~ Sometimes people who have experienced a death will develop mental health issues ~
The people in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, Canada’s poorest postal code, need your support. Will you join me on my journey to help? A little compassion can go a long way.
Are you prepared to get loud and help the residents of the Vancouver Downtown Eastside (DTES)? Then, let's get started .... fellow bloggers, indie authors, British Columbians, Canadians, mental health workers, Twitter followers, Facebook fans, friends, family and the professional community, shout out what you would like to do in support of the DTES by using the hashtag #Expo86triplets. Let's grow this community.
In loving memory of my daughters, Jana Leah Grace, Laura Lynn Grace, Jessica Dawn Grace, my Spirits in the Sky.
Bless you,
From my heart to yours,
be kind to yourself
Preview An Angel Walks Beside Me on Amazon at http://ow.ly/QHtJ301DGyz
Follow Me on Twitter @ysocialmediaca
Sherry Author | An Angel Walks Beside Me
be kind to yourself
Preview An Angel Walks Beside Me on Amazon at http://ow.ly/QHtJ301DGyz
Follow Me on Twitter @ysocialmediaca
Sherry Author | An Angel Walks Beside Me
Articles of interest on the troubled legacy of Vancouver’s Expo 86 and the Downtown Eastside can be read here.
